The Audition Report:

Kayak.comI just had a great (and hilarious) audition for a commercial at OneOnOne.  The posting read: 33-40.  In general, I’m looking for awkward looking people. People who are too thin, or a little heavy. People who have all the flaws we all do. I want actors who look like…people, not actors. In other words, no one attractive, please.

Another posting for the same gig stated: We need someone who can sing – must have some singing ability. MUST BE EXTREMELY COMFORTABLE LIP SYNCING! But he also needs to be able to act very well – experience with NY MUSICAL THEATER! He will be learning and lip syncing 4 different languages of song for REAL shoot.  35 – 45. Awkward looking. He will have his shirt off the whole time. He can be very hairy, or very thin. Just no one with muscles.

Awkward and shirtless?  Experience with NY musical theatre?  No one attractive?  You found me!  I got an appointment ticket through Casting Networks, asking if I could be seen at 10:50 this morning.  Great.  What I failed to notice, however, was that the audition ticket also contained a link to a song we were supposed to learn for the audition.  Whoops!

As soon as I got to the studio, I went to the bathroom, and while I was in there I decided to check the name of the casting director, so I could address her by name.  And that’s when I saw the link to the jingle.  Luckily, I learn music quickly, and it wasn’t anything difficult, so I wasn’t stressing.  I was just laughing at myself, letting the sink run to try and cover up the fact that I was listening to, and singing along with a recording on my phone.  And of course I left my headphones home, so I didn’t have the discreet option; had to use speaker phone.

I came out of the bathroom and started to look for a group of awkward guys milling about, so I knew I was in the right place.  When I signed in, they had a sheet with the lyrics so that took the pressure off even more.  Eventually, they called all of us into the room to explain how things were going to work.  They gave us a little blocking and played the recording that we’d be singing with.  They said, “Come in, stand here, slate your name, take your shirt off, and have fun!”  Piece of cake!

I looked around the room to see my competition.  While some of the guys were way more awkward than I could ever dream of being, some of these jerks were really attractive!  Who let them in?

I was third on the list so I went in, said my name, took my shirt off, and game them a little song and dance.  They asked me to do it again, and just told me to sing louder and make the movements bigger.  Done!  I was unbuttoning my shirt as I was leaving and realized what that must look like to an outsider; one by one these weird guys are called into a room by a beautiful woman, and a few minutes later they leave the room, getting dressed as they grab their things and silently go.  Some sulking a little because they didn’t perform as they had hoped, and others beaming because they nailed it (pun intended).

It was definitely one of those auditions where I left just loving what I do.  Whether or not anything comes of it, I had a blast.  Although, I have to admit, I would LOVE to get this one.  Not only does it pay a ton of money, and it’d be a great credit on my resume, but it shoots for a week in Uruguay!

Fingers Crossed!

Pin It